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The Key to Thriving in Your 20s and 30s


I’m turning 30 this year. And while I’m not someone who typically enjoys looking at the past, my approaching birthday has made me quite reflective lately. A few years ago, while watching other friends start to turn the big 3-0, it dawned on me how much change really occurs from the age 20 to 30.

For me, that has included graduating high school, starting college five hours away from home, meeting my husband and getting married, graduating college, and adopting two kids, all before the age of 29. Seems like a pretty proud accomplishment list, right? But if I just listed out those milestones, you’d miss out all the details of life hold more meaning than that simple list of achievements communicates.

In fact, the details of my day-to-day over the past 10 years are what really matters. Those details are where I’ve been pulled out of my comfort zone, challenged in my simple ways of thinking, and drawn into deeper communion with God. For example, what about the nights partying in college when I knew God wanted me to live differently? How about the naïve ways I thought about my marriage in the early days that idealized a life centered around myself? What about all the dark years of experiencing infertility and miscarriages where I saw God in a way I never had before?

So much change happens in your 20s. And, typically, you’re fumbling through without much life experience and, oftentimes, while feeling completely alone. 

One thing I’ve learned from wiser friends is that while, yes, your 20s are a huge season of transitions, those core things we seek during this time never fade away.  

The truth is, we’re always going to be searching for deep friendships, but may find ourselves feeling bummed when we discover, once again, that we were left out of that group text. We will continue to try the new meal prep strategies and “no fail” chore charts that make us feel a false sense of control in the chaos of Monday-through-Friday. And most of us will keep struggling with looking in the mirror and finding at least five things that we wish we could change… whether we’re 25 or 50. 

And how does our relationship with Jesus play into all of this? If you call yourself a Christian, God is intertwined with each part of your day, from mundane things to big life decisions. 

How does that make you feel?  

If I’m being honest, there are times when that truth feels daunting to me. Will we not magically wake up one day and realize we’ve figured it all out? Will our sinful patterns not just vanish as we become more mature? Will we not finally understand what God’s will for our day-to-day looks like? We know those sentiments are far from true, but we still tend to believe that, one day, we will arrive. 

At our core, we crave having people we can go there with no matter what comes at us in our lives.

The surface level conversations only satiate for so long. This desire doesn't discriminate—no matter what your age is, how much is in your bank account, or what your family dynamics look like—we’re all just trying to figure it out.

As Christians, we’re navigating life based on biblical truth, rather than cultural values. This can make the journey can feel extra challenging. We need friends to walk alongside and learn from.

When Christian and I talk about hard conversations on Going There, we’re not here to tell you what to do based on our own opinions but are inviting you into the conversation as we all work to sort out the mess. There’s a lot of noise in our world, and it’s even harder to navigate well if we’re doing it alone.

Maybe you don’t feel like you have a strong community or a thriving marriage to lean on while you are figuring out all the same issues. That’s why we want you to be a part of ours. Join us on Going There each week as we discuss topics, big and small, as we seek to walk with God and sort through the messiness of life.

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