Growing up, all I wanted… was to be wanted. I wanted to be the person other people wanted me to be, the kind of person everybody wanted to be around.
I wanted to be the kid that my parents adored.
I wanted to be the student that my teachers applauded.
I wanted to be the friend that my peers appreciated.
In high school, I won’t lie, that sort of worked out. I felt well-liked, admired, praised. And it was the bedrock of who I was. When I came to college, though, that foundation started to crack.
Doubts and insecurities started creeping in the very first week. Do my teachers think I’m smart enough for these classes? Do the girls in my sorority think I’m cool enough to be here? Does my roommate think I’m fun to be around? Do any boys think I’m cute? (and other deep questions asked by a 17-year-old girl)
That first semester, I did everything I could to be what other people wanted, some things I’m not proud of. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe…maybe I wasn’t the kind of person other people were looking for.
And that was crushing.
It was devastating because deep down, that’s what we all want, right? We want to know that we’re wanted. And we all fear that maybe we’re not.
We’ve all felt it. The doubt of going for a promotion at work and wondering if you’re the “right fit”. The insecurity of showing up for a date and asking yourself if you’re who they’re looking for. The worry of moving to a new city and trying to make friends again.
We all know that nagging thought in the back of your mind that questions: Am I the kind of person other people want?
We ask that question about other people, but I think we also ask it about God.
Am I the kind of person God wants?
That first semester of college was one of the loneliest times of my life. Until a friend invited me to Veritas, the college ministry of The Crossing. Within minutes of being there, I met people who made me feel welcomed, invited, and wanted.
On some level, I felt completely seen and known. On another level, I felt like a fraud.
These people might like having me around, but God didn’t want me there. Right? He knew the things I’d done last semester, over break, last week. He didn’t want someone like me at Veritas. Did he? Was I the kind of person he was looking for?
Am I the kind of person God wants?
How would you answer that? Are you the kind of person God wants? Or do you think maybe you’re not enough, a little too messy, a bit too far off?
The way we answer depends on who we think God’s looking for. The kind of person God wants around. Who he wants a relationship with.
There’s a story in Acts 2 that you might know. It is about the day of Pentecost, a Jewish holiday where people flooded into Jerusalem for the annual wheat harvest festival. You might remember this story as the day the Holy Spirit was given to the disciples.
He fills them with his power, giving them the ability to speak in different languages and preach the gospel to the surrounding crowds. Take a minute now to read Acts 2:1-41 for the full account.
There’s an aspect of this story that fascinates me. Did you notice in verses 7-11 how many people groups, cities, regions, and nations are mentioned? Sixteen.
People from all across the known world. So the question is, why would Luke, the author of Acts, take the time and space to record them all?
I think it’s because he wants us to notice that all kinds of people are there, and God is speaking through the disciples to all of them.
These are people with different languages, cultures, backgrounds, lifestyles, perspectives, and experiences. And God meets all of them exactly as they are. He shows up on the day of Pentecost to invite each and every one of them into relationship with him.
When we ask ourselves, “Am I the kind of person God wants?”, the story of Pentecost gives us a resounding “Yes!”.
You can be confident that without a doubt, you are the kind of person God wants. You’re the kind of person he’s looking for. Because he is a God who shows up and invites all kinds of people into his presence.
God meets you as you are, no matter who you are or where you are.
Whoever you’ve been, whomever you are right now, he’s speaking to you.
Wherever you’re at in life, wherever you find yourself, he’s meeting you there.
He’s showing up and inviting you into his presence.
He wants a relationship with you.
That’s the beauty of God’s family. It’s made up of wildly different people.
People who look different from each other, act differently from one another, like different things, have different strengths, and have gone through different hardships and experiences. People who are messy, who have a past, who have made mistakes, who have done things they regret.
People like you and me. That’s who God wants.
Near the end of the story in Acts 2, some of the people in the crowd who have heard the gospel ask, “What should we do?”.
I love Peter’s answer:
Acts 2:38-39 “Repent and be baptized, each of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. For the promise is for you and for your children, and for all who are far off, as many as the Lord our God will call.”
Repent and be baptized, he says. Turn from your old life toward God, and be brought into his covenant family. God meets us where we are, and then calls us to respond with a life lived for him.
Salvation, never-ending life with God, is for you. The promise is for you! It’s a promise that meets us where we are, as we are, and then transforms us through the forgiveness of our sins and the power of the Holy Spirit.
Remember today that you are fully wanted, seen, known, and loved by your good and faithful Father.
Want more insight into how to live the life God is calling you to live? Elizabeth McKinney shares how to avoid wasting your life and instead live into your God-given purpose.
