You're stressed. No one doubts that. You’ve got lunches to pack, orthodontist appointments to make, business lunches to attend, bills to pay, another health setback to recover from, maintaining (or starting) exercise routines, ________ (insert your own stressor).
How are you supposed to connect with God in the midst of all this daily stress?
Let’s start with three cognitive truths to remember about these stressors and then examine three experiential habits to practice in the midst of your stress.
God hardwired us to experience the physiological sensation of stress. Jesus himself was stressed in the Garden of Gethsemane before his crucifixion (Matthew 26:37). We were built with adrenal glands that drip—or flood—our systems with adrenaline and cortisol. Our thinking brains we're meant to take a back seat if and when a stressor comes our way. These instinctual and natural responses help us identify and manage stressors. Without stress, we're not aware of problems.
God made us finite, limited beings. Therefore, we can only produce so much adrenaline and cortisol. This is important to remember because, in the present moment, a good majority of our attention is devoted to figuring out how to fix or manage or solve the problem. When this happens, it is natural to forget that one day this stressor will be and thing of the past.
God has you right where he wants you. He has written every day for you in his book from before the foundation of time (Psalm 139:16). Moreover, God via the Holy Spirit is with you in every moment of every day. But it's very common to forget his presence, just like it's very common to forget the sun is technically still shining in the midst of a rainstorm. Stress is not a barrier to God's presence, but a doorway. It's as if God is saying to you, "You're stressed. Come on in and tell me about it. I might not remove the stressor, but I'll help you manage and carry it."
Hopefully that last line sounds familiar. It's taken straight from the mouth of Jesus in Matthew 11:28-29:
"Come to me all you who are weary and burdened (aka stressed), and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."
This is the heart of God—coming to him in the midst of our daily stressors. But how do we do this? Here are three experiential habits to practice:
Separating yourself for a brief period is like turning down the volume on a ridiculously loud tv. It gives you space and margin. You'll probably have to go back at some point, but walking away is a good first step to prevent your instinctual and reactive first response, which probably isn't your best response.
Yes, I really do mean 37. Focusing on that specific number can take your mind off the present external stressor and on to your internal breathing. Slow, deep breathing engages and expands your diaphragm. This slow and consistent breathing taps against your adrenal glands and is the equivalent of an off-switch. Eventually, things will begin to slow down.
One way to do this is to practice the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise. Focus on five things you see, four thing you tangibly feel, three things you hear, two things you smell, and one thing you taste. Doing this won't solve the present stressor, but it will help take your mind out of the (cognitive) clouds and bring it back into the (embodied) present.
You don't need to practice these in this order. And you probably won't feel any noticeable difference at first. In fact, you might find that things get immediately more stressful! But that's not a reason to stop. In fact, that might be a sign that you're on to something.
I often tell my clients to meet increasingly complex, urgent, and stressful situations with the exact opposite temperament. When things speed up, slow down. When situations get complex, go simple. When this happens, you are creating space for God’s voice to emerge in the middle of your very real stress.
Remember, practicing and embodying these habits will not solve your daily stressors. But it will help you to remain more aware of God's presence in the midst of the stressor.
Life is stressful. Change is hard. God is present. Experiencing God in the midst of your daily stresses is possible. It just takes practice.
Looking for more tangible advice on how to handle your emotions in a biblical way? Austin, PLPC, co-hosts "With you in the Weeds," a weekly podcast from Crossing counselors designed to help you integrate faith with your mental health.