The Crossing Blog

Read the Directions First

Written by Lynn Roush, LPC | Jun 12, 2026

As newlyweds, Shay and I were figuring out how to be married. And overall, things were going well… until we bought a grill.

Buying the grill itself wasn’t the issue. We found it on sale at Kmart and were excited to bring it home to our small apartment and set it up on our balcony. Eyeing the shiny floor model, we could already smell the burgers cooking!

At the store, the salesperson said that there was an assembly fee of $25, which felt like a lot of money at the time as we were both still students at Trinity Seminary. So, to save money, we dismissed the notion that we needed help and loaded the grill-in-a-box into our car, with the expectation that we would get it setup and running in no time.

I mean, how hard could it be to assemble a grill?

Two hours later, Shay and I were in a full-blown conflict and ready to throw the half-built grill into the dumpster. Our primary mistake was attempting the task without fully reading the directions. We were so eager to get cooking on the grill that the warning on the first page that urged us to READ THE DIRECTIONS FIRST seemed like a waste of time.

Midway through the project, we had made a few missteps. And what had started off as a hopeful process between two eager, well-intentioned people had veered into ugly territory. We weren’t listening to each other, we were blaming each other, and we were believing the worst about each other.

The funny thing was that this escalating argument could have been prevented if we had both agreed that we needed to take the time to read the directions first. Assembling a grill is not rocket science! But we made it harder than it needed to be because we weren’t willing to read the manufacturer’s notes or learn how to handle the task at hand with the information provided.

Most of the problems we tackle in life aren’t as trivial as assembling a grill. Estranged relationships, broken trust, loss, chronic stress, and learning to forgive someone who has hurt you can feel like impossible feats to navigate on your own.

Is it possible that having a “how to” manual for handling different problems in life would make things easier? Would you be willing to “read the directions first” if you knew it could reduce stress, prevent pain and avoid making things worse?

As counselors who routinely address these issues with clients, the With You in the Weeds podcast team created a series called How to Handle Life so you could have a manual for tackling the most common yet difficult things in life. We wanted to offer practical, hopeful, and effective strategies so that you could feel equipped to manage these hardships with confidence.

Here are highlights from 5 of the episodes in this series:

How to Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You

Have you been putting off the task of forgiving someone who has wronged you? One of the hardest (and often misunderstood) commands of the Bible is to forgive others as you have been forgiven. You can learn what forgiveness does and doesn’t mean as Austin Conner tackles myths about forgiveness, as well as provides clear steps to begin the process of forgiving someone who has hurt you. After listening, you’ll understand that the daunting task of forgiveness is designed to lead to your own emotional freedom and lift a heavy burden off your shoulders.

How to Accept Estranged Relationships

Have you ever lost someone who is still alive? Estrangement is one of the most painful experiences in life, yet it’s far more common than most people realize. Whether you’ve made the hard decision to step away from a relationship or you’ve been cut off by someone you love, Lynn Roush walks through what estrangement is, why it happens, and how it impacts you on multiple levels. You’ll learn five hard but essential truths for accepting estrangement, including why reconciliation isn’t guaranteed, how to navigate the feelings of uncertainty, and why growth is still possible for you even if the relationship is never restored.

How to Respond When Your Pastor Fails

Your trust in spiritual leadership may be eroded when a pastor’s failures are exposed. In the wake of what seems to be many public church scandals, Lynn and Shay Roush bring their personal perspective to this topic as they discuss the varied and unique responsibilities of ministry, the complicated dynamics that pastors face as they gain success and notoriety, and how Christian leaders can benefit from personal therapy and soul work. This conversation acknowledges the real pain of church hurt yet offers encouragement that God’s plan is never hindered by imperfect people.

How to Grow Through Sadness

Do you see sadness in your life as a problem to solve? Perhaps you grew up believing that feeling sad was considered disrespectful or that it meant something was terribly wrong with you. Even now, your family and friends might see your sadness as a sign of weakness or spiritual failure. What you may not know is that being sad is God’s prescribed way to help you move through the many losses and hurts of life. In this perceptive episode, John Tinnin will help you understand the counterintuitive nature of sadness and explain why your sadness isn’t the enemy of healing, but the path to it.

How to Handle Stress

Is your emotional gas tank running on empty? If you’re exhausted even after resting, or noticing increased irritability and burnout, it may be that chronic stress has taken over in your life. In this insightful episode, Lynn Roush looks at the ways stress can impact your body, your relationships, and your connection with God. If you want to avoid cynicism, numbness, or a total emotional shut down, you’ll learn three intentional shifts to make right now, regardless of whether your circumstances change, so that you can move out of survival mode and into a more grounded, present, and renewed way of living.

The How to Handle Life series also looks at How to Manage a Panic Attack, How to Handle Unanswered Prayer, How to Know God’s Will, How to Manage a Narcissist, and more.

If you can relate to any of these topics, we encourage you to “read the directions first” and listen in to this practical series so you can move forward with wisdom, discernment and hope knowing that you are not alone in the weeds of life.

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