See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come.
Song of Solomon 2:11-12
If you’ve ever seen a video of a groggy bear emerging from hibernation, you can picture the reentry of the disheveled creature. You see the mottled fur, stiff muscles, and wobbly legs. It’s squinting, disoriented, and a bit awkward. After denning for many months, the warming of the Spring air triggers a physiological response in the bear and calls it to end its hibernation and rejoin the world.
In a way, I’m like a Grizzly bear when it comes to neighboring. During the dark and cold months, I tend to withdraw into my den and many of my next-door connections go dormant. Our neighborhood goes into a sort of winter slumber, and you might begin to wonder if people have moved or are still alive.
But then we see it every year when Spring arrives. The frost begins to melt, patches of green grass appear, and daylight hours increase. As we clear the cobwebs and open our windows, a breeze rushes in and triggers our neighborhoods to wake up. Sooner or later, we all come awkwardly stumbling out our front doors, bleary-eyed and ready to reconnect.
Following all this hibernation, it’s natural to feel a little stiff and wobbly ourselves when it comes to connecting with those around us. While the social grogginess is normal, so is the genuine longing we feel for meaningful interactions. It’s been a long winter, our reserves are depleted, and we’re all craving connection more than usual.
So, let’s do ourselves and our neighbors all a favor: Embrace the clumsy and break the ice. Here’s how we can start…
I’ve become a walker, and I like to think I’m pretty good at it. Sure, I’m not earning any belts like my Jiu-Jitsu-loving neighbor, but I have a really good arm swing and foot roll. I can even talk while I walk (most times).
But seriously, for someone who wants to dip their toes in the neighboring waters, walking is a great first step. It’s open to the extroverts, introverts, those who prefer coffee and those who prefer tea. There is no skill or ongoing commitment required.
Walking is a way to connect to our local places and spaces. We begin by noticing where God has placed us. We appreciate the beauty of our surroundings and sights and sounds of our neighborhoods, whether in the natural creation or man-made buildings. We thank God for the beauty of his creation around us: the landscape, the trees, the leaves, the flowers, and the animals. We notice the physical structures and designs that make up our neighborhoods: the architecture, the design, and the craftsmanship. And we notice the good gifts of our neighbors. We believe they each uniquely bear God’s image and that God is at work on our streets.
If you don’t know your neighbors and you don’t know where to start, start with a good arm swing and foot roll. Start by taking your airpods out, keeping your phone in your pocket, and walking in your neighborhood. Start by noticing what—and who—is around you.
Try this! Use a Guided Neighborhood Prayer Walk to see where noticing takes you. Perhaps, it will lead to an introduction. It might feel like a slow way to start but God does good work with slow.
Now that we’ve embraced being socially clumsy and spiritually unhurried when it comes to meeting our neighbors, let’s shift our neighboring mindsets to make room for “tiny.” We begin by valuing the itty-bitty. When we set our neighboring standards too high, we discover that we often don’t even begin. Contrarily, when we value the small, seed-sized steps of faith, we realize that God uses even the littlest of gestures to make a big impact.
In fact, God says to not despise the day of small starts (Zechariah 4:10). And since neighborly trust runs sparse these days, the bar is set incredibly low. This could look like dropping off a plate of cookies or yummy leftovers or sharing some flowers from your yard, extra produce, or a plant grown from stem cutting.
Whatever you do, include a cute introductory tag with your name and information. This reads: I’m approachable, I’m here, and I’m available if you need anything.
I’ve found the biggest obstacle to meeting neighbors is over-complicating things. So, what happens when you press the Outside Easy Button? Let me paint the picture for you (because you’re going to like it).
Outside + camp chairs + pizza and drinks + and neighbors = Easy button.
Boom, that’s it. This image could vary slightly depending on whether you have a firepit and prefer s’mores and hotdogs, but the sentiment remains: no clean up, easy-peasy. Instead of worrying about your house being clean, open up your most approachable space: your driveway. Your neighbors will love it.
Whatever step of faith you take to meet your neighbors, may God use it to thaw hearts and melt any distance between their house and yours. Whether through a neighborhood prayer walk, a tiny act of kindness or pressing the outside easy button—may this Spring Season replace Winter’s frosty isolation with warmth, newness, fruit, and growth.
If we can trust God with his purposeful placement and scale of things, his timing, and our own social clumsiness, we can trust that he’s been at work in our neighborhoods from the start. And it helps to remember that despite any apprehension we feel about reaching out to meet our neighbors, he took the first step to break the ice with us.
Learn more about the art of neighboring with Placed For a Purpose with Chris and Elizabeth McKinney. Each podcast episode encourages you to love your neighbor by sharing simple ways to connect with those nextdoor.